In Celebration of World Breastfeeding Week

Breastfeeding is normal and natural and shouldn't hurt...right?!

Is that honestly the case? I've found otherwise in my life even though I wanted to believe that it wasn't so. The first time I nursed a newborn baby 8.5 years ago it was shear agony. After a 42 hour labour I didn't think *this* was going to be the part that was most painful. But it was and it continued to be the case for both her an I. Breastfeeding didn't come naturally to either of us and we had to be *taught* how to breastfeed. That felt so counterintuitive to what I expected as a new mom. I had visions of my sweet baby creeping her way up to my breast and latching on like a pro as I had seen in birth videos. I had ideals of me gazing down at her and falling in love while she happily drank my milk. What became our reality was something entirely different. Nipple shields, breast pumps, lactation consultants, everyone else's hands on my breast and my baby's head trying to help us out. There was simply nothing peaceful about those early weeks/months of nursing. Yes, I fell madly in love with my sweet girl that part was true but it was amidst pain and tears of sadness rather than the expected joy.

The second time I found myself nursing a newborn it came to us much more easily. He latched on with ease and once I remembered how to hold a newborn (7 years later!) we sorted out our relationship and settled into it happily and quite peacefully at first. But it wasn't long before I realized that this nursing relationship was going to have it's challenges as well. We discovered food intolerances one after another after another and my baby boy was getting sick from what I was eating. I had to stop eating each and every common allergen. He wasn't really a happy baby alot of the time as he was in pain while we figured everything out...it was so upsetting as a mother to know that I was inflicting this discomfort upon him through my milk.

Yet both times we pushed through our difficulties and nursed beyond what is typical in our society here in North America. Both times we enjoyed nursing as not only a source of food for an infant but as a mothering tool, as a source of calming when they are distressed about this wild world, as a supplement to the diet of a picky toddler, and as a connection between mama and babe at the end of time apart, or a long day. With both babies I trusted that despite our challenges, there was no other answer. We would do this and we would work hard to do this because it was important beyond belief.

But our society wants mothers to believe otherwise. Our society seems to want mothers to believe that if it's not easy, then it's not going to happen. If it doesn't settle into place without effort, then there is a problem and it isn't an option. Our society however fails to notice that it's not the anatomical issues, or physiological issues typically acting as a hinderance. It's the lack of support. Our society does not yet support breastfeeding families. We are shunned from public places at times. We are frowned upon for nursing in areas where others would believe is inappropriate. We are told to cover up and nurse our babies under cover. We are pushed into a corner to breastfeed as much as we want, as long as no one sees. it. BUT here's the biggest problem...our children NEED to see breastfeeding so this cycle of not knowing how to nurse our babies can be eased. They need to see us breastfeeding our babies on demand, our toddlers through a troubling situation, our preschoolers before bed. The children of this coming generation can be eased the troubles we have had ourselves if we just simply don't hide from them. Empower them by letting them see. Empower them by letting them take part, snuggle in beside their sibling or cousin or friend. Empower them by teaching them that breastfeeding is a normal, natural part of raising a baby.

The other day my 8 year old and I were talking...she was accompanying me to the Quintessence Breastfeeding Challenge that I had organized in our town. And she asked why I was doing this and why people needed to have a challenge to breastfeed. THIS was exactly what I wanted to hear, I felt like all that I was doing as a breastfeeding activist was finally making a difference!!!!  My own daughter could see the light and change is eminently upon the horizon. She has only ever known her little brother to breastfeed, he's never had a bottle. She has seen pictures of herself as a toddler and baby breastfeeding. She has been fortunate to be surrounded by breastfeeding babies and mothers in the past 8 years. And by offering that sort of community to her she has also seen what a mother does when they are engorged. What they do when a toddler is upset. How to nurse a baby to sleep. And through this she is gaining the wisdom to one day be a mother who may not have to endure as many difficulties breastfeeding because it has been her norm since day one.

Trust me when I say that I know that it is hard for us in this generation. We have a lot of cycles of our past to break thru...but the time will come if we all give it our best effort. Trust yourself. Your inner knowledge as a mother will guide you. And open your arms to a community of supportive families. Believe in yourself and let others who surround you be those who also believe in you. And find yourself breastfeeding anytime, anywhere...because really it's your human right as a mother, your baby's human right as a child and it is perfect and beautiful and natural and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

A bittersweet journey into Autumn

Autumn is upon us and we are entering into it slowly and with a bittersweet sensation as we are missing the bliss that our summer contained this year. Fall has so much...but to an 8 year old and a 1 year old, Summer is exhilarating! They are missing the beach and frolicking in the water constantly; they are missing our frequent camping trips; missing being naked on the front lawn and splashing around in the wee kiddie pool T brought home one hot, humid night in July. And I'm missing a naked baby learning to use the potty...and of course seeing their ear to ear grins when I watched them play and explore together. And the call of autumn brings us inward...and that is a lot to grasp for L...she isn't ready to leave the carefree, impulsivity of summer.

BUT we are discovering autumn with all of our senses.

Each morning we begin our day on walk in our forest. We are blessed to live on a sweet acre and a half that backs onto thousands more acres of forest and trails. So right out our back door is a trail system that we can connect to walk for hours or just a minutes. Each walk the children bring something from fall into our home. Something that reminds them that summer has now come to an end and that Father Winter might be settling into his place soon.

For the past few years I have been very non-challant about the nature table. We have been doing more of a centre piece on our table rather than dedicating a whole table. Alas, this autumn I felt the need to create a space for them as they have struggled with this transition from summer to fall and I thought it might help...

Voila! Enter the joy...

The table has been a work in progress over the past two weeks and today it came together and is a sweet little space. I love what we have created and I love that it has brought them such bliss in a season they were otherwise disappointed to greet.

Yellow the bracken, Golden the sheaves
Rosey the apples, Crimson the leaves
Mist on the hillsides, Clouds grey and white
Autumn good morning, Summer goodnight!

Waldorf Wednesday (a few days late...)

Inspired by a waldorf mama, I've decided to write a post about our experiences in Waldorf living each Wednesday. I'm not off to a great start...being that it is Friday, alas, this is  my aim.

I believe in living mindfully. I attempt to live mindfully. And through my lifestyle I allow my children to grow organically into the people they are meant to become. Waldorf to me is about simplicity. It's about trusting the process without so much intervening to *produce* something within my children. And I do trust them. I trust their process. And from time to time I am able to see within them what this creates.

Today I took my sweet peas to the apple orchard with a waldorf group. Throughout the week we read about September and apples and fall which all fits nicely into the week of the trip to the orchard and the autumnal equinox. After a short hike through a magical forest and an exploration of the apple trees that made up the organic orchard we visited the wee ones and I sat to enjoy a snack and some lunch. The tiniest of our group sat talking to himself about apples. He, at 20mo old, discussed with himself about red apples, big apples, little apples, tiny apples, dirty apples, yucky apples and of course a bit about tractors after an enchanted ride on the tractor drawn wagon!  He left the table to head over to the wagon which contained our apples and started counting them 2, 4, 6, 8! Never in my day do I directly try to teach him anything...I allow him to carry on with his day while I immerse my oldest in her lessons. But today I saw that he is gaining wisdom through his simple state of being in our family. Adjectives and 2 times tables at 20 months! HA. Alas...my objective is not for him to understand these things but I found it amazing that he was able to absorb such details.

In our day I teach my 8 year old and I work in the house on things that need to be accomplished, along with this, I work from home some too. Every so often I get this inkling of a sensation that I have been ignoring some of our toddler's needs. I *know* in my heart that those are societal pressures and that he is having each and every need met in our family (he is actually the centre of our universe, don't you know...as far as the 8 year old is concerned!). But, what I do is just so vastly unique from everyone around me. I don't really spend much time "playing" with him. I just don't. I have a lot to do and he seems content without me playing with him. I actually never really did much with my daughter either. I have found that their play comes naturally when I leave them to their own means. They imitate me primarily (in the early years) and with their tiny kitchen tools they cook while I cook, stopping by the kitchen chair pulled up to the counter for a quick bite of whatever I'm cooking. They mop up the floor with an old prefold while I clean the floors throughout the house. They ride on the vacuum while I operate it. They walk around dusting the tables while I wipe the kitchen table for dinner. They match socks while I fold laundry (albeit never quite successfully but in an attempt to join in the fun). They climb under the covers of the bed while I make it and then they jump out to say Boo!. These kids have learned to play with life. When we walk they explore the world and we slow down for them to take in all that they see with all of their senses. When we sing we do so joyfully and often. We recite verses together. We laugh as we eat. We clean up with song and game. We have created a life that is play!

And through all of this, my toddler is learning. He is learning to be a part of this family. He is learning to pay attention to what we do to keep our day going. And I guess he's learning to count by two and describe different types of apples :D