In Celebration of World Breastfeeding Week

Breastfeeding is normal and natural and shouldn't hurt...right?!

Is that honestly the case? I've found otherwise in my life even though I wanted to believe that it wasn't so. The first time I nursed a newborn baby 8.5 years ago it was shear agony. After a 42 hour labour I didn't think *this* was going to be the part that was most painful. But it was and it continued to be the case for both her an I. Breastfeeding didn't come naturally to either of us and we had to be *taught* how to breastfeed. That felt so counterintuitive to what I expected as a new mom. I had visions of my sweet baby creeping her way up to my breast and latching on like a pro as I had seen in birth videos. I had ideals of me gazing down at her and falling in love while she happily drank my milk. What became our reality was something entirely different. Nipple shields, breast pumps, lactation consultants, everyone else's hands on my breast and my baby's head trying to help us out. There was simply nothing peaceful about those early weeks/months of nursing. Yes, I fell madly in love with my sweet girl that part was true but it was amidst pain and tears of sadness rather than the expected joy.

The second time I found myself nursing a newborn it came to us much more easily. He latched on with ease and once I remembered how to hold a newborn (7 years later!) we sorted out our relationship and settled into it happily and quite peacefully at first. But it wasn't long before I realized that this nursing relationship was going to have it's challenges as well. We discovered food intolerances one after another after another and my baby boy was getting sick from what I was eating. I had to stop eating each and every common allergen. He wasn't really a happy baby alot of the time as he was in pain while we figured everything out...it was so upsetting as a mother to know that I was inflicting this discomfort upon him through my milk.

Yet both times we pushed through our difficulties and nursed beyond what is typical in our society here in North America. Both times we enjoyed nursing as not only a source of food for an infant but as a mothering tool, as a source of calming when they are distressed about this wild world, as a supplement to the diet of a picky toddler, and as a connection between mama and babe at the end of time apart, or a long day. With both babies I trusted that despite our challenges, there was no other answer. We would do this and we would work hard to do this because it was important beyond belief.

But our society wants mothers to believe otherwise. Our society seems to want mothers to believe that if it's not easy, then it's not going to happen. If it doesn't settle into place without effort, then there is a problem and it isn't an option. Our society however fails to notice that it's not the anatomical issues, or physiological issues typically acting as a hinderance. It's the lack of support. Our society does not yet support breastfeeding families. We are shunned from public places at times. We are frowned upon for nursing in areas where others would believe is inappropriate. We are told to cover up and nurse our babies under cover. We are pushed into a corner to breastfeed as much as we want, as long as no one sees. it. BUT here's the biggest problem...our children NEED to see breastfeeding so this cycle of not knowing how to nurse our babies can be eased. They need to see us breastfeeding our babies on demand, our toddlers through a troubling situation, our preschoolers before bed. The children of this coming generation can be eased the troubles we have had ourselves if we just simply don't hide from them. Empower them by letting them see. Empower them by letting them take part, snuggle in beside their sibling or cousin or friend. Empower them by teaching them that breastfeeding is a normal, natural part of raising a baby.

The other day my 8 year old and I were talking...she was accompanying me to the Quintessence Breastfeeding Challenge that I had organized in our town. And she asked why I was doing this and why people needed to have a challenge to breastfeed. THIS was exactly what I wanted to hear, I felt like all that I was doing as a breastfeeding activist was finally making a difference!!!!  My own daughter could see the light and change is eminently upon the horizon. She has only ever known her little brother to breastfeed, he's never had a bottle. She has seen pictures of herself as a toddler and baby breastfeeding. She has been fortunate to be surrounded by breastfeeding babies and mothers in the past 8 years. And by offering that sort of community to her she has also seen what a mother does when they are engorged. What they do when a toddler is upset. How to nurse a baby to sleep. And through this she is gaining the wisdom to one day be a mother who may not have to endure as many difficulties breastfeeding because it has been her norm since day one.

Trust me when I say that I know that it is hard for us in this generation. We have a lot of cycles of our past to break thru...but the time will come if we all give it our best effort. Trust yourself. Your inner knowledge as a mother will guide you. And open your arms to a community of supportive families. Believe in yourself and let others who surround you be those who also believe in you. And find yourself breastfeeding anytime, anywhere...because really it's your human right as a mother, your baby's human right as a child and it is perfect and beautiful and natural and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.