Embracing change...

I've been definitely missing out on being on here...expressing myself through words that need expressing!

After 3 glorious years of homeschooling we have decided to make changes...my not so wee L is embarking on a new journey into a program only available to kids entering grade 5 next year. She has been pleading with me since the start of the year to look into and then proceed with this change, and I have been feeling apprehensive. Alas, forward we go. Her desires are rooted in her need for growth and I'm learning to be more open to change. In fact I'm embracing it in seeing the joy it brings her. So yesterday morning I sat with her and we enrolled her for the extended french immersion program with the public school board.

What I have been discovering as of late is that my sweet L is growing into the person I imagined she might become and I am PROUD of what I have cultivated in her. I am feeling that she has been given such a strong foundation to her world that she is going to embrace this new journey with open arms and take hold of it as a new adventure.

And I'm somewhere within finding this interesting view looking forward to time for just little C and I to find our own rhythm. I have to admit that lately we have been really in a rut. We have been rumaging through the days looking for some inkling of rhythm...and tend to fail and fall into a heap of tears (one if not all of us!). I have noticed that my focus has shifted from creating a family rhythm to creating a rhythm to keep L engaged and C is just along for the ride. Looking forward to moments that I can integrate his needs of play and creativity and simplicity into more of a concrete rhythm for him.

The thing about having two children 7 years apart is this very significant difference in what they really want out of their days. L being nearly 10 is really craving social opportunities. She is looking forward to each day we are gathering with others and dreading the days we are home just us. And C, being just 3, well he is wanting to root himself to the grounds of our home and stay in one place. I know this is not just their age differences alas...they are two unique beings, with such beautiful, different existences. But I am eager to see what comes of their time of growth in a place where they can be what they want to be and where they want to be.

And then there is me...it opens my eyes to my wee 6 1/2lb babe, well, not being such a little being anymore. She is becoming something so incredibly wonderful...I am just so honoured to be her mother...I am so honoured that she chose me to be her mother. I feel grateful every single time I look at her that this wonderful creature has blessed my life. And it's coming up to a full decade of being in this place of wonderment. Looking at her sweet, compassionate eyes each day for the last 10 years has given me more joy than I could ever express. I'm embracing this new decade to come with hope and joy. I am embracing the changes we are about to embark upon. And I am embracing the sweet not so little soul my wee babe has become.